Picture this: you’re standing in line at a coffee shop, barely awake, already regretting that extra Netflix episode last night. You need caffeine. Suddenly, someone elbows past you, grabs a croissant with their bare hand, and barks, “Oat milk latte, NOW!” The barista rolls their eyes, lobs your cappuccino across the counter like a frisbee, and it splats onto the floor. Nobody apologizes. Nobody even notices.
Welcome, my friend, to a world without manners. A land where “please” and “thank you” have gone extinct, and civility is as rare as paid Wi-Fi at the airport. It’s funny to imagine this little dystopia—tongue firmly in cheek. But here’s the not-so-funny truth: when civility erodes, something essential in us erodes with it. Manners aren’t just about whether you hold open doors or know which fork belongs to the salad course. They’re the grease that keeps the clunky machinery of human interaction running without sparks. Take them away, and suddenly life feels like one giant traffic jam—and not the romantic kind of sparks flying, either.
The World Without “Excuse Me”
So, let’s stroll for a moment through our mannerless future. Grocery stores turn into gladiator arenas where shopping carts are wielded like battering rams. Merging onto the highway? A full-blown demolition derby, where blinkers are just decorative lights no one uses. Family dinners? Chaos. Uncle Bob doesn’t bother asking for the potatoes. He leans across the table, spears them with his fork, and takes out two wine glasses on the way back. And schools? Forget it. Kids shout down teachers, snatch toys, and treat sharing like a lost art. Fast forward twenty years, and those same kids are running companies, governments, and hospitals. Customer service? Rebranded as customer survival.
We laugh, but you and I both know: if civility goes, the joke runs out pretty fast. It’s not about etiquette trivia. It’s about showing respect, empathy, and recognizing each other’s humanity.
What Manners Really Teach Us
Somewhere along the way, manners got a bad rap, as if they’re just old-fashioned quirks, like writing thank-you notes on floral stationery or dialing numbers on a rotary phone.
But manners aren’t relics. They’re rituals of respect. Saying “please” acknowledges that the other person has a choice. Saying “thank you” tells them their effort mattered. Holding a door open says, 'I see you.' You’re worth one second of my time.
And let’s not forget. Children are watching all of this. Every sigh at the cashier, every honk at the slow driver, every time we interrupt instead of listening. We can lecture about kindness until we’re blue in the face, but kids learn by watching us in action. So what are they learning when we roll our eyes at a waiter or ghost someone instead of giving a polite “no”? They’re learning that convenience beats courtesy. That efficiency matters more than empathy. That people are disposable. And yes, they’re keeping score.
Civility as a Survival Skill
Here’s the irony: in our fast-paced, tech-saturated world, manners aren’t just important, they’re critical. As algorithms and screens increasingly replace human contact, kindness is what sets us apart. In a sea of quick, transactional exchanges, basic courtesy stands out as a beacon of kindness.
Think about a job interview. You could show up with a résumé that makes angels sing, but if you treat the receptionist like a coat rack? Forget it. Or dating: apps can introduce you, sure, but no one swipes right on arrogance. Even online, where anonymity seems to permit people to unleash their worst selves, civility is the rare quality that makes people actually want to engage with you. Manners aren’t outdated etiquette. They’re a survival skill in a crowded, noisy world. They open doors, literally and figuratively. They build trust. They keep us from tearing each other apart.
Teaching Civility in an Impolite Age
So, how do we ensure we don’t lose sight of this. More importantly, how do we teach our kids not to?
- Model the Basics. Say “please” and “thank you” every time. Especially when you’re tired, rushed, or cranky. That’s when it matters most. Kids notice.
- Call Out the Good. Praise children when they’re kind or thoughtful. What we celebrate gets repeated.
- Practice Empathy. Ask them, “How would you feel if someone grabbed your toy without asking?” That little shift in perspective builds compassion.
- Don’t Outsource It. Teachers can help, but home is the real classroom for manners. Dinner tables, car rides, checkout lines; those are the daily stages where civility is practiced.
- Apologize When You Slip. Because you will. We all do. When you snap or forget your manners, own it. That humility teaches more than a lecture ever could.
Why It Still Matters
At the end of the day, manners aren’t about memorizing stuffy rules or pretending to be perfect. They’re about dignity. About creating little pockets of grace in a world that can be rough around the edges. They remind us we’re not just individuals racing around, we’re a community, constantly bumping into one another, continually faced with a choice: collide or connect. The vision of a mannerless society, where road rage is the norm, dinner tables are food fights, and “excuse me” has vanished from the dictionary, is funny because it’s exaggerated. But it’s not as far off as we’d like to think. Civility is fragile. We preserve it or we don’t.
So, the next time you hold open a door, or look someone in the eye and say “thank you,” remember: your kids are watching. The stranger beside you is watching. And maybe, just maybe, the future itself is watching, jotting down notes about the kind of world we’re building one tiny interaction at a time. Manners still matter. They always have. They always will.◆
